so that wasnt chicken after all
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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