I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
