Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
