is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
