If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
