Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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