Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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