Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
