Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
