3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I think I am morally bankrupt
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
