you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
