I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
How drunk are you?
Completed.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
