I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
