Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
