I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
