By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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