I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
