Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
