I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
