I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You're like the curious george of whores
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
