I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
