So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Oh god it's open bar.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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