Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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