East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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