Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
love makes seman taste better
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize
