The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
