I think I just saw someone hide a body.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
