Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
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