You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
