that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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