I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize