R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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