p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
