do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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