Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
