Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
