Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
false alarm. still invincible.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
