Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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