never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize