I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
