peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Randomize
