Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
