Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
