Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
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