I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
