That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
