Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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