Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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