i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
