how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
