I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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