do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
