i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
