just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He better not be in your backpack
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Randomize
