There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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