I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
