If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
