I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize