I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
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