Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
