I'm so fucking centered right now
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
